Colonel Young: Don’t fight Colonel Young. Not only will you lose, quite possibly in a lethal way, but he really has enough issues going on without you. Yeah, he’s not perfect and he can be a jerk, but leave the poor man alone. Instead, consider making him soup.
Nicholas Rush: Absolutely fight Nicholas Rush. Even if he hasn’t done anything recently to merit it (though he probably has), you will win. He might put up a good fight, but you will win and then you’ll probably have a disheveled, bloodied and bruised Rush laying on the ground. Take pictures. Das hot. If you disagree, trade the pictures with other Rush fans for favors.
Camile Wray: Don’t fight Camile Wray. We’ve never really seen her in combat, but she did voice Mulan and I’m pretty sure she could secretly kick everyone’s ass. Besides, she’s IOA and do you really want to go through the hassle?
Tamara Johansen: Fight TJ. You will lose, but you will be honored to get punched by her.
David Telford: FIGHT TELFORD. It’s unlikely you’ll get a good punch in, let alone win, but that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Puch him in the dick for bonus points. Seriously, fuck that guy.
Dale Volker: Go ahead and fight Volker if you want to. You’d probably win. Then you can go kick a puppy, you monster.
Ronald Greer: Depends on if you have a death wish.
Lisa Park: See above.
Adam Brody: A good follow up fight to Volker. Slightly more challenging, but also more satisfying. Make sure Rush doesn’t need him for anything first.
Matthew Scott: Fight Scott. It’ll be the most interesting thing about his character thus far if you do.
Chloe Armstrong: What is wrong with you?
Eli Wallace: He will try to get you to play super smash brothers with him instead. Do not let him. He is crazy good with fox.
Vanessa James: Naw, instead, enlist her help in fighting Scott. You both deserve it. Treat yourself.
Destiny: Don’t you fuck with Destiny. You won’t win and literally everyone will hate you.
NOOOOOOOO! Don’t fight poor bby Rush!
Look at how scared he is. Protect him, give him lots of love. That’s what you do with Rush.