ustas_fish (just_ustas) wrote,

Revenge Gone Awry

ah ha ha ha ha...  so funny :)
one more wonderful story by Crysania
Part 2 of the Entertainment series
After being the town's entertainment for far too long, Rumplestiltskin plans some revenge and takes Belle along for the fun. A sequel to A Sunday's Entertainment.

“A plague of locusts?”

Belle looked up from the book she was reading and raised one eyebrow at him. “Locusts, Rumple? I’m sure you could be more creative than that.”

He sat down next to her with a slight hmph. He had finally hit his limit. As the Dark One, he had been used to being a spectacle, of always being on display when others were around. He wasn’t a man (a monster, he always reminded her) that blended into the crowd and so he had done everything to keep attention on him, like an actor on his very own twisted stage. But here in Storybrooke, he was so much more subdued. Where Rumplestiltskin had been flamboyant hand gestures and quirky movements, Mr. Gold was restrained, only his eyes and ever-present smirk giving any indication of what was going on in his mind. And so here, now reunited with his love, he had found the town’s preoccupation with their outings to be less than desirable.

Oh he had tried rather hard to dissuade them, tried to remind them that he was no mere mortal and knew exactly what they all were doing. But instead of ending their shenanigans it had caused them to do little more than try to be discreet, breaking up into groups who pretended to do one thing while really doing another. Charming, the very same man he kept mistakenly going to advice for, seemed to be the ringleader of the group.

Did they really think he wasn’t onto them?

“I could turn them into snails?” She glanced up to see the hopeful look in his eyes.

“No.” And her eyes returned to the book, though she found it impossible to concentrate on the words. Watching her love’s mind work was far more entertaining, even if he was on about something rather ghastly.

“We could go spy on them.” The movement of his eyebrows made his intentions rather obvious.

“Who?” The word slipped out before she could even stop it and she covered her mouth with her hand, eyes glinting in amusement.

“Why the Charmings of course.”


“But why not?” He was almost whining now. Desperation was not a good look on him.

“Boring,” she muttered and looked up at him, finally setting the book down to give him her full attention.

He stared at her for a moment and then finally he laughed, leaning forward to kiss her. “That’s my girl!” Another kiss. “What about Ruby?”

“And Archie?” Her nose crinkled. “No thanks…though Ruby is awfully flexible…” Her voice trailed off and she looked up at him through lowered lashes.

“No.” He shuddered. “And I don’t want to know how you know that.” He waggled a finger in front of her face and with a gentle laugh, Belle leaned forward and caught his finger between her teeth. “Ouch!” he exclaimed, pulling the finger from her mouth.

Belle giggled.

He gave her that same indulgent smile that always graced his face when she did something ridiculous. It still amazed Belle that it had only been a handful of weeks since they’d been reunited and yet their relationship grew and solidified more and more each day. There were problems no doubt. Whenever you threw together a 300-year-old sorcerer who was set in his ways and a strong young woman who wasn’t afraid to put him in his place you were bound to have issues. But they had managed to work through each and every one of them (even if Belle had to admit that walking out in a huff and beating things with canes were not always the most productive ways of working things out).

“Ah ha! I know exactly what to do!” Words that should put dread in the heart of any sane person.

Belle had only moments to contemplate what that might be before Rumplestiltskin snapped his fingers and they were engulfed in purple smoke. The world around them suddenly seemed to get huge and she realized rather than everything getting bigger they had indeed gotten smaller.

When the smoke cleared, Belle stared up, straight up. The shop was a frightening place from so far down. The ceiling looked like it was miles away and the legs of the table they were standing next to seemed to go on forever. She reached out a hand to touch the wood of the table leg, seeing the grain so much more clearly and wondering what it would feel like to her tiny hands. As she did so, she noticed the white sleeve over her arm and realized quite suddenly that she was dressed differently.

The outfit he had clothed her in was all white, the long delicate gown billowing out around her. The cuffs of the sleeves and the hemline were embroidered with gold thread…his gold thread no doubt. The gown was cinched in at her waist with a gold braided belt. At least he's putting all that spinning to some good use. And was something attached to her back? She reached up a hand and found…feathers?

“Rumple…why am I three inches tall and wearing wings?” She turned to look at him finally. “Oh…my…” There stood Rumplestiltskin. Not Mr. Gold. Her Rumplestiltskin. He was of similar height to her scant three inches now as well and exactly as she remembered him. Golden-sheened skin, wide reptilian eyes, claws and all. And had she really forgotten how good he looked in those leather pants he had favored in the Enchanted Forest?

He stood back and swept an arm out in front of himself and she smiled as she remembered what a showman he had been. “Why?” She couldn’t think of anything more intelligent to say.

“Well, I can’t very well be the Devil in a three-piece suit. Don’t you think this is more appropriate?” And he giggled. Actually giggled. Belle couldn’t stop staring. All those years in captivity, this was what she had dreamed about. This was what she missed.

“Well…yes. So if you’re the Devil.  I’m…”

“An angel of course!” He pranced over to her and she shook her head.

“You don’t need your cane?”

“Glamour spell!” he trilled, running one clawed finger down her cheek. “I wonder…would you still love me if I looked like this again?”

“I loved you before when you looked like this.” There was nothing but sincerity in her eyes.

“You tried to change me back into an ordinary man.” The words were quiet and subdued and his eyes slid away from hers as he twirled a lock of her hair around one finger. Her hair had always fascinated him. She had somehow forgotten that in the intervening years, the way one hand would sometimes come out to accidentally brush against her hair when he thought she wouldn’t notice. She always did, of course. She had always been far too aware of him.

“I thought I could rid you of the evil. I never imagined it would change how you looked.” She couldn’t deny she had wondered. Not because she had found this form repulsive, but only out of idle curiosity, wondering how he would look if he were just like everyone else.

He dropped the hair. “Well, no matter.” He shook his head, his lips turning up into a slight smile, one corner raised higher than the other, a smile of heartbreaking sadness for just a moment. And then the look changed, the mischievous glint returning. “Come, my angel.” He held out an arm to her and she moved closer to him, linking her arm through his. “We have a job to do!”

And they both disappeared into the smoke.

She reappeared high above the ground, standing on a wide field of white. Rumplestiltskin was nowhere to be found. One moment he had been linked to her and the next moment he was simply gone. She was alone and none too happy about it. Whatever she was standing on began to move and with a squeak, Belle fell to her knees and grabbed onto the ground. The softness beneath her hands moved and that was about when she figured out that it felt remarkably like cotton.

“Steady, dearie, wouldn’t want you to fall!” Rumplestiltskin’s sing-song voice came from somewhere to her right and she turned to see a gigantic peach…tree trunk?...blocking her view. Rumplestiltskin’s face appeared around the side of it, a mischievous grin gracing his face, his eyes bright.

“Where exactly are we?” She crossed her arms across her chest and glared at him.

With a giggle, he pointed upward and it took Belle a moment to realize that she wasn’t looking at a tree trunk. She was looking at a neck. And the material beneath her was indeed cotton, apparently a man’s undershirt. She was perched on someone’s shoulders.

“Rumple, what on earth have you done now?” This was his revenge? She couldn’t even fathom what was going on. “Where are we?”

“Why at the Charmings of course! Get ready for your grand entrance, my dear!” Oh yes, this was the Rumplestiltskin she had first known. Somehow she had forgotten how exasperating he could be.

And then suddenly she was flying through the air, stopping when she was hovering a few inches above the man’s shoulders. The “ground” beneath her felt solid despite its being nothing more than air. She now had a clear view of Rumplestiltskin, who had thrown himself onto his side and was lounging, one arm holding up his head and one leg crooked at the knee.

There was a slight popping sound and the man she was hovering over suddenly seemed slightly startled. His face turned and gigantic blue eyes met Belle’s much tinier ones. “Hi.” It was all she could think to say. Rumplestiltskin giggled but the man, who she now had figured out was David himself, didn’t seem to notice.

His eyes seemed to cross as he tried to focus on her tiny form. “Belle?” he asked.

She could hear Rumplestiltskin’s voice in her head, even though she couldn’t see the man himself move a muscle. She leaned forward and looked at him for a moment and he just shook his head and made a shooing motion with his hand. “I’m apparently your Angel, here to guide you to make the right choices.” She almost sounded sincere.

David nodded.

“That’s it. You’re not skeptical at all? Really?” Belle had often heard Rumplestiltskin refer to David’s intelligence in less than stellar terms but she had never really believed him. One didn’t deal with King George, convince King Midas you were the real Prince, or win over Snow White without some brains after all. But now she wasn’t quite sure.

David half smiled and nodded his head. “So if you’re my angel, where’s my…”

“Right here, dearie!” Rumplestiltskin stepped off David’s shoulder and walked through the air until he was almost in front of his face.

“I should have known,” David groaned.

“Did you really expect anyone else?”

David looked away. “I guess not. This has to be the absolute worst dream I’ve ever had.”

“Oh, it’s not a dream, dearie. This is most certainly real.”

At least he was being truthful, but she suspected David didn’t believe a word he said. Even she had a hard time believing it and she was in on the joke, such as it was.

“Charming? Are you talking to someone?” Mary Margaret stuck her head around the corner.

“What?  No.” David’s eyes moved from side to side, clearly unsure which of his two tiny visitors to look at.

Mary Margaret came completely around the corner and Belle tried not to giggle. The flannel footie pajamas on such a tiny woman made her look like a child. Was this what the Charmings found sexy? She glanced over at Rumplestiltskin.

“If you you're thinking of buying a pair of those my dear, think again.” He pitched his voice low, though she knew Charming heard every word.

Belle arched one delicate eyebrow at him. “And if I show up in them you’ll do what? Spank me?”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

Charming groaned. “I am not listening to this.”

“Sorry,” Belle muttered.

Mary Margaret put her hands on her hips and cocked her head to the side. “David are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine dear.” His eyes slid sideways and narrowed on Rumplestiltskin.

Belle looked over at Rumplestiltskin as well and saw that he was watching her too, an expectant look on her face. With a sigh, she realized she was supposed to be doing something, anything to make all of this more interesting. She's supposed to be the Angel here after all, the one guiding Charming toward doing something good. He sure didn't need any help. If anything he was a little too good. But she supposed she was there to counter Rumplestiltskin's darkness more than any Charming might have within him. "Tell her there's a lovely new set of pajamas in the top drawer of her dresser," Belle suddenly chimed in with. She shot Rumplestiltskin a look and was pleased to see him wave a hand almost absent-mindedly.

"What?" David asked, turning back to her.

Belle crossed her arms over her chest. "You heard what I said. Do you actually like her in those pajamas?" She raised an eyebrow at him.


"I didn't think so. So tell her." She waved one hand toward the door Mary Margaret had disappeared behind yet again.

"What did you put in there?" He turns his head to glance at Rumplestiltskin for just a moment before refocusing on Belle.

"Something lovely," she said with a smile and another glance at Rumplestiltskin. "Right dear?"

David narrowed his eyes and tilted his head slightly. "Something you would wear to bed?"

Belle felt her face heat and turned away from David.

"What do you wear to bed?" His eyes narrowed further.

"Nothing, dearie!"

Oh Rumple…Belle should have seen that one coming. He did look good in nothing though. Turning to look at him full on, she couldn't help but wonder…

"Just tell her." Despite the forceful words, she was smiling. Eying her love up and down, admiring the way the leather pants clung to his thighs, the way the vest accented his form, and the patch of strange skin revealed by its plunging neckline, she realized she might just have to ask him to strip down before he reversed the glamour spell. Or better yet, maybe she should strip him down.

She giggled, biting her lip as she turned away.

"What?" she heard Rumplestiltskin ask.

"What?" David echoed.     

“Nothing,” Belle said, the word coming out too quickly and she turned away from admiring Rumplestiltskin’s leather pants. There would be time for that…later. After this little “revenge adventure” was done. “Just…”

“Tell her, I know.”  He sighed and called Mary Margaret back to him. “Dearest,” he started and reached out for her hands. “I left a little present for you. Check the top drawer of your dresser.”

With a small squeal Mary Margaret was gone, back around the corner. “Oh David, they’re lovely!” she exclaimed and Belle smiled. At least something had gone right.

Belle could hear David release the breath he probably didn’t even realize he was holding. She watched Rumplestiltskin lean forward and whisper something in his ear. “I am not saying that!”

“Saying what?” Mary Margaret called from the other room.

“Oh come now, dearie. I’m trying to spice up a certain part of your life that I suspect desperately needs it.” Rumplestiltskin crossed his arms over his chest and raised one eyebrow at David.

“Don’t listen to him, David,” Belle is desperately trying to keep her voice as level and angelic as she thought it probably should be, considering her current role. “I’m sure your sex life is perfectly fine, even if it’s not terribly interesting.” She giggled and clapped her hand over her mouth.

From across David’s shoulders she could hear Rumplestiltskin burst out into one his high-pitched girls. “Well, David, she did say she didn’t want to spy on you because it would be boring. Give the girl something interesting to watch, will you?”

David’s face turned bright red.

Belle, still laughing, glanced over at Rumplestiltskin. “I’d rather watch you dear.” And she damn well meant it too. Her lover is handsome, if rather unconventional, and it had been difficult to keep her eyes to herself. Biting her lip she took in his form once more and smiled slowly at him.

In an instant, he’s beside her. “I thought you were supposed to stay on your side, Devil.”

“And just how am I supposed to do that when the Angel is giving me that kind of look.” He leaned in close to her and studied her face.

“Well, how am I supposed to not give that look when you’re dressed like that?” Belle reached out one hand and trailed it down the exposed section of his chest, delighting in the feel of his slightly bumpy dry skin beneath her hand. “You know, I never did really touch you when you looked like this.”

Rumplestiltskin’s eyebrows shot up. Belle brought one hand up to cup the side of his face, lightly fingering the curls on her way there. She stepped closer to him. “I only got to do this once.” And she stretched up to kiss him lightly on the lips. “It didn’t end so well.” She crinkled her nose.

“Well, you can’t change me now.” His arms came around her and pulled her tight up against him.

“Oh good.” And she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself up to meld her mouth to his, a much firmer kiss than she had ever given him in this guise. She felt him stumble slightly before he tightened his arms around her and tilted his head, deepening the kiss as her mouth opened beneath his.

Belle hummed in pleasure as she clung to him, pleased to hear his gasp as her tongue went into play against his.

“Still here guys,” David muttered.

“Mmph?” Belle couldn’t get out more than that.

“What did you say Charming?” Mary Margaret came out from around the corner and Belle found herself terribly amused at David’s low whistle.

Breaking away from Rumplestiltskin for a moment, Belle smiled appreciatively. “Good job Rumple. I knew you could produce something perfect.”

“It would look better on you.” He leaned down to bite gently on her earlobe and Belle let out a slight moan.

“Still here guys,” David muttered again.

“You know what would look better on me?” She leaned into whisper in his ear and reached around to grab his leather-clad ass with both hands, pulling him tight up against her. “Nothing.”

Still here.”

Who are you talking to?” Mary Margaret sounded rather exasperated.

“Well, sweetheart, that can be arranged.” And as Belle’s mouth met his again, he waved a hand and they were engulfed in purple smoke, the room dissolving around them.

David, now left alone and still wondering if this were a dream, a nightmare, or some sort of crazy Rumplestiltskin-invented reality, gave his love a sheepish look. “You wouldn’t believe me even if I could explain it.” And he led her to bed, desperately hoping there would be no reappearance of Rumplestiltskin or Belle.


Tags: rumpelstiltskin

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